Love Longer to Live Longer: The surprising health benefits of long-term relationships

Back in 2012, Tom began working on a photo series with a client, Belmont Village Senior Living, called “Lasting Love,” taking portraits of couples that have been married for fifty or more years. Tom and I were 28 years old at the time and planning our wedding, which would take place that June.

Tom almost always talks to his subjects when he’s shooting them as a way to get to know them, elicit authentic emotion and capture their true nature, and this series of portraits was no exception. After a few, he was so moved by his interactions with these couples that he invited me to come to meet some of these seniors and listen to what they had to say about love.

This week, 11 years later, Tom is in California shooting yet another installment of the Lasting Love series. And again, he is inspired and touched by the couples he’s meeting who have been married for 30, 40, sometimes 50 years. He’s also noticed how many of these couples seem to be in pretty good physical and mental health, and was thus inspired to look into whether any research has been done around the correlation of long-term love and health.

It has. A recent study published in Global Epidemiology this spring followed 11,830 American female nurses over a 25 year span, beginning when they were all unmarried. They then compared those who married over a four year period with those who remained unmarried, looking at how all of these women faired after 25 years, in terms of mental and physical health and longevity, accounting for things like age, race, and socioeconomic status.

Say the study’s authors, Brendan Case and Ying Chen: “Our findings were striking. The women who got married in the initial time frame, including those who subsequently divorced, had a 35% lower risk of death for any reason over the follow-up period than those who did not marry in that period. Compared to those who didn’t marry, the married women also had lower risk of cardiovascular disease, less depression and loneliness, were happier and more optimistic, and had a greater sense of purpose and hope.”

According to Psychology Today, even just sleeping next to a romantic partner has health benefits, as shown by a study out of the University of Arizona. Lead author Brandon Fuentes explains, "Sleeping with a romantic partner or spouse shows to have great benefits on sleep health including reduced sleep apnea risk, sleep insomnia severity, and overall improvement in sleep quality." Other specific sleep improvements of sleeping with a romantic partner included: less fatigue, falling asleep faster, spending more time asleep, and lower reported anxiety, stress, and depression.

Marriage is hard. But turns out, it’s still some of the good stuff.

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Laughing - Free Medicine

Laughing is like a mini-vacation, allowing you to escape the stress of life and refuel your energy. It lightens your mood and makes life more enjoyable. There are a ton of laughing tools out there to boost your mood and outlook on life.

Most of us are unaware of the numerous advantages that come with laughter. Laughter can boost your immune system, ease stress and tension, reduce pain, and help you relax. So, let out more belly laughs, chuckles, snorts (talking to Tom’s mom and fellow snorters) and giggles - your body and mind will thank you!

Above a portrait Tom took earlier in his career of a very happy artist.

Laughter is great for your physical health

According to HelpGuide.org, the positive effects of laughter on your physical health boosts your immune system, lowers stress hormones, decreases pain, relaxes your muscles, and prevents heart disease.

Laughter increases lifespans, especially for women

Scientific American published an article this week on a large study which found that women with a strong sense of humor had longer lifespans, even in the face of illnesses such as cardiovascular disease and infection. For joyful men the research showed that they seemed to be shielded against infection.

Shared laughter strengthens relationships

According to UNC psychologist Sara Algoe, it is the shared laughter that is significant, as it shows that two people view the world from the same perspective. After researching, Algoe found that those who shared laughter felt more connected than those who did not, which she refers to as the "mind meld".

So, how do you bring more laughter into your life?

The first step is to reframe your mind to life events. Marcus Aurelius stated “The happiness of your life depends upon the quality of your thoughts.”  Reframing our minds to interpret life events differently is a common theme amongst wise people from history. Taking a more lighthearted and playful approach to life is the first step to achieving this. Watch this documentary on the taboos of comedy, The Last Laugh, and discover how humor can be found in almost any situation.

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Feel down? Laughing Yoga will boost your mood! An amazing place to start is this incredibly popular Ted Talk on Laughing Yoga, which has garnered an astounding 39 million views!

Above, another photo from earlier in Tom’s career, and yes, that is a dog wearing a wig and this lady made wigs for dogs not because they were balding but, well, we don’t know why she made wigs for dogs. Are you laughing yet?

Revisit your childhood and unleash your inner child! Tap into your creativity and let your imagination run wild - from throwing biodegradable water balloons to visiting museums or the county fair. Research from the Association for Applied and Therapeutic Humor stated that adults only laugh an average of 17 times per day, compared to kindergartners who laugh over 300 times per day!